but now, once n for all, she gets to have things her way!!
so as i go thru my old stuff, with the beautiful reminiscences that they ignite, also comes a thought in the back of my mind - i would love to give this all away to kids, but where would i find them n would they like any of it? so i talk to shankar bhai, our housekeeper, if he knew any underprivileged , deprived children and in spite of willingness to help, he is pretty unsure where to look for such kids. i understand his situation, he is as asocial as i m.
so then i wonder if mom could take it to her govt hospital campus n give it to the children of her poor patients. she has done that so many times before, whether its her own things, dad's or mine!! she loves giving.. may be where me n dad got it from!!
she'd give away stuff to street children, children at the crossings, at the slums, at her hospital.. everywhere!!
n i wonder, now, that wat if wat she gave away was never used n just stayed there in a kids drawer or was just a part of the trash bin? then wudnt it be an injustice to the possible privilege of any other child who might have probably adored it?
but, to be honest, there are two things that dont stop making their way thru my head- one is that if we are here to give, then its for us to just 'give'; who are we to decided anyone's worthiness of deserving!!!
When did the sun, river, sea, wind, light, rain, land ever give out of worthiness- they said take wat u like- give wat u like, if u like!! how unconditional!!! the nature loves us and cares for us so unconditionally... n wat we do is- calculate, evaluate, judge, take, steal, snatch!! why n for wat???
wat of tht are we going to take away? wat did our ancestors take away with them, except the goodness in their heart??? why do we always save like rats and be selfish about!!! why cnt we ever regard another human as much a human as ourselves??? why do we have to categorise that person, put him on the ladder somewhere, higher or lower???
the other thing that made it thru my head was that - i feel immensely fortunate to be blessed with everything i have been!!! my parents, friends, relatives, bringing up, luxuries, childhood, education, experiences, teachers... every thing has been so blessed!!! so divine!! if i were outside me, there is no way i cudnt see that Divine hand in wat i have had, who i have been n wat i have become!!! i m not sure how much of it i have deserved.. how much of it i have worked for...
but one thing i know for sure that it has all been a part of my life bcz of God's love n the generosity of ppl who have been a part of my life!!!
Hence, i decided to give... give unconditionally.. without a thought of whether it'll reach the one who deserves it or not- for that, is a part of God's duty n discretion, n0t mine!!!
