What my books never told me....

.... is that - "broken hearts are better than mended ones"... bcz the mended ones look up to life with hopes n expectations and the broken hearts know the truth- there's nothing to look forward to- life's a circle... its just gonna go round n round n we just wont realise....

i hate loosing friends.... n i guess i just cant stop doing that... they all just have to go away... some move, some get busy, some move on... everything...

why do we have to let these wonderful ppl go... for me, my biggest treasure is my people... but i guess i just get a li'l too attached to be able to let go.. n then it hurts....

sometimes it feels better to be numb n not feel at all... bcz someone said it right- Expectations Hurt!!!

i m tired of the fake laughs n the make to do happiness.... i want real friends in life n cant let go of the very few ones i have...

i know they are always there... a call away or at times a doorbell away.... but its just not the same as sipping coffee having those stupid meaningless conversations or having fun doing silly things together... bunking classes for a hot cup of kitli chai.... dancing silly at dumb songs... making stupid faces n so much more...

i know i dont lose any friends.... but i lose time with them... n that loss is unremittable...

"Love You from all my heart"- to all the ppl i called "friend"- bcz that word defines one of the most the beautiful relationship i have ever had....

When fighting with all your might is just not enuf!!!

I grew up being a fighter!!!

Not a ring fighter or a warrior but i was just the "non-violent" but super determined fighter in life- and by that i mean.. i never learnt to give up!!! if i wanted something with all my heart, n i always wanted things with all my heart... never knew what being half-hearted was all about... so when i wanted something, i would just not give up.. i would fight till the last breath.. fall n stand again.. break myself n heal back.. but not give up....

in kindergarden, my report read - "this girl demonstrates amazing perseverance" - i understood the meaning of the word may be ten years later but still had it in me when i could barely speak right...

my fav teacher at school hugged me hard when i ranked in the class - bcz she always said she saw this fire in me... she'd smile at me with pride.....

my prof at clg awarded me once, just for my "killer instinct"...

my mom would instill that belief in me that i could make it... just by saying that she knew i could make it...

how strong n how long was all that meant to be???

is it worth having the killer instinct??? do i still have it in me to go ahead n fetch every inch of my dream??? does it ignite me inside out? does it burn me to see me where i m n not where i want to be??? or did i learn to take life with a pinch of salt???

i m yet to find out...

when i left home to be a part of this world, everyone told me that its gonna be a struggle.... u are too soft to take it... n i was sure i was going out there.... just to face it!!!

m i still too soft to bear it all??? have i grown n m growing to be a part of it??? i m still to find out!!

i have made decisions- right or wrong is not an objective of interest to me... i m happy i just refused to stand there n watch.. n i have been at the stands watching too a lot of times.. i have had a share of both.. but has that led me to a goal or just led me off track.. i m yet to find out!!!

all i know deep in my heart is that God loves me n he's always there with me... n wherever he leads me i'll walk with him... bcz when u walk with DAD, u dont c where the road leads.... all that matters is that u have the most beautiful time with him...

so does it matter where life leads me.. i dont know but m i willing to make the most of every moment, no matter what!!! YES, certainly... n that is definitely something i have learnt after stepping into life!!!