i wonder why i came here... what made me think i was supposed to???
i was very happy comfortable in my shell back home, with all that i could have ever needed... my mom was right... i should have listened to her... stayed back n done what she thought was right for me....
but no, i had to think my own way- naive n stupid... "i'll do something great!!" yeah rite sure!!! go ahead, drown yourself...
when i read abt ppl n their accomplishments, even small ones, its a matter of envy but more so it adds my respect for them...
tonnes of ppl with no resources are driven enuf to make an everest out of a cube of ice... n me... they gave me the alps n i thought i'd make the everest n right now i c myself holding a cube of ice, n even that seems to be melting away...
ppl keep telling em i m wasting time/life.. but i dont listen.. i just want to enjoy.. each moment... sure y not??? wat else is the purpose of life.. but then wat i leave myself with is a purposeless future....
i cant give up bcz its not in my software... i wont withstand it.. bcz i m very flexible... i'll mold accordingly... but whether i'll be the ant/ the spider.. who doesnot give up n gains it all.. or whether i'll be the grasshopper... who hops around joyously forgetting all future n past, everhappy but in the winter dies of starvation...
i wont say time will tell... bcz it hardly has time to stop n tell... i'll say i dont know... n to be honest, i know that i will never know...
we will live like lab rats live in cages n be subject to experiments of all sorts... n just die when we are supposed to... n then one point or another thru that life we feel "i have accomplished!!" Rats feeling accomplishment in the lab.. sure!!! y not???
we just take birth n then after a while we die... all in the middle is just mere TIME PASS!!! dont know if its meant to be enjoyed by doing what u want to or what u think u should do... n if both are the same, i guess you found a good time pass!!
