internal adventures

As time passes and as experiences establish, I m becoming stronger on the inside but i m also going through an involution. I wanna say things but not to everyone anymore, sometimes not to even those that i know i can say these things to . i am afraid and scared of being misjudged and hurt. i am observing my pattern. i m ok with ppl seeing my happy side but the moment my unhappy side comes in i push ppl away n then i wonder how come i dont have anyone then. but its because i dont let anyone be then. i dont understand me ....

i cant live without ppl. i m afraid of losing them. i think too much. i do less when i know i should be doing more. i dont talk to the ppl i love n care for as often as i should eventhough i know i want to. i m a contrast into myself. i dont do anything i want to and do everything i dont want to. soemday i'll resolve the internal conflict and may be then i'll board on to a new set of internal adventure. looking forward to that!!!