Me for me

Everyone rushes around all day long to achieve everything posssibly planned for the day and way more.. and such days are endless... they just never seem to stop... even sundays, when v sit on the couch with some hot snacks n a cold drink watching tv, the feeling that leaves the mind at the end of it is, "i cud have used this time in a better way rather than watching a dumb show or hours of repetitve news or just those hours of surfing".

But then one day , suddenly, there comes a haul... a break... no work, no targets, no plannings n its like a vacation has been announced... u r free... n while v look for something to do, as we sit with ourselves; just ourselves, no work, no cleaning n no treatments... v just sit with an immense amount of Emptiness... the confrontation is Huge... coz that emptiness can be scary.. its just u with u... no thing or other person ... this emptiness can be relaxing or inquisitive in the beginning... but if v put our thoughts, our problems n solutions aside... there's a large amount of Nothing..

N funnily, then when v have it v dnt know wat to do with it!! Fill it up? with thoughts, n issues , n pending work or future plans? or to just be with it.. n for once live in existence with wat solely exists... Self!! the only thing tht v've been craving to get in touch with for the longest of times ever!!

Its like- u r in search of God for years together.. like mahavir or buddha were... n u do every possible thing u understand.. prayers, good deeds, tapa, upasana, dhyana... everything.. n then one day you are walking by the river side in ur own thoughts... n u suddenly stop because u see someone rite in front of you... u talk to him for a while but then soon u realise its the one u've been seeking for these several years.. he's rite in front of you.. when you least expected him to be.. not during tapa or dhyana or upasana... just while you were loitering.. u r taken aback.. u r still dwelling in moments of shock for merely having realised the presence.. wat do u do? dnt knw.. u r lost, disoriented..n the moment u start to do something to please him, to convince him or to reach him, he vanishes..

Tht emptiness is equally divine.. its presence is astonishing, maybe simply because it exists all the while but it has been oblivious since forever, n the funny thing is, the moment u begin to do something to pursue it or preserve it, it disappears.. goes away.. n so is every piece of pursuit.. it goes away.. nothing stays.. not even the last moment tht just passed by, stays with you.. n v hold grudges for years together.. wat for..

Everyone wants Peace.. but how many of us really wanna do wat it really takes to achieve it.. we just work through our versions and beliefs of wat we think is needed to provide peace to mind.. tht Emptiness. Nothingness.. is maybe , the gateway to the peace that we have been seeking all our life... n all tht we really need to reach it.. is to BE with our own self!! to just BE... allow urself the pleasure.. we have slaved hard enough all our lives...